Pillage Plunder Rifle and Spoof
by innuendogirl
Summary: A humorous parody of POTC created out of boredom in algebra class. You can imagine the crazy antics of that. 3
1. Scene 1 Parisols and popsicals

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wait, I lied. I own a now failing grade in Algebra. And I like to pretend I own my sister.

Pillage plunder rifle and SPOOF

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Young Elizabeth: (singing) Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Yo Ho, Yo Ho

Gibbs: Quiet missy! Bad luck to be singing only the beginning of a pirates song.

Young Elizabeth: Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Jingle Bells

Gibbs: Aye, that's better. Here, have a lemon Popsicle.

Norrington: Mr. Gibbs, that will do!

Gibbs: I was just rewarding the lass

Norrington: You know how young miss swann gets with to much sugar. Need I remind you about the parasol?

Young Elizabeth: I think it's rather exciting to eat Popsicles, and meet pirates!

Governor Swann: Norrington, I appreciate your fervor, but lets... lets not bring up the parasol episode again.

Young Elizabeth: But father, I really did see a parasol!

Governor Swann: yes, that's what concerns me.

Young Elizabeth: (turns towards the water) Look a parasol!

Norrington looks at Gibbs accusingly

Governor Swann: Now now Elizabeth. That's not funny. Come on, lets go below deck. puts his hand on her shoulder. His attention turns to the water Look, a boy! There's... ughff! elizabeth kicks him sharply in the shin

Young Elizabeth: That's my line thank you very much. cleans throat ermhum fixes hair Norrington and Gibbs look at each other in confusion -Sigh-Look, a boy. There is a boy. In the water.

Director: storms onto the set and hangs Elizabeth over the side of the ship We are not going to do this scene again princess. Say it!

Young Elizabeth: eyes fill up with fear Look, a boy! There's a boy in the water!

Gibbs- sighs finally! ... Man overboard!

Governor Swann: Fix it!

Gibbs: (sees burning ship) Holy Guacamolie!

Governor Swann: Norrington you have hardly any rank at all but I am completely incompetent so I order you to start spewing some nautical jargon. Elizabeth, take care of the boy, I would do it but... my wig might fall off.

Young Elizabeth: shaking the boy Yo, chap...wake up! Waaaaaake up! the boy springs to life, looking rather dizzy My name is Elizabeth, and I'll be watching over you.

Boy: stutters in fear W-w-w-ill Turner faints

Young Elizabeth: hmmm. Strange boy. begins to walk towards the edge of the ship Now what happened to my parasol?

Ship appears out of the fog

Young Elizabeth: No! Don't crush the parasol!

Thanks for reading... please review!!


	2. Scene 2 insert creative title

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Elizabeth: eyes spring open after her dream Hmm, what did happen to that parasol? gets up and unlocks a few drawers. Ah, my love! There you are. picks up the parasol and starts twirling it Singing in the rain, I'm just.. SINGING in the rain medallion falls out of the parasol on onto Elizabeth's perfect curls. OUCH! sees the medallion oooo, shiny! Where did this come from?

Governor Swann: Elizabeth? Did you fall out of bed again? walks through the door

Elizabeth: oh! shoves the parasol down her dress and slips on the medallion Yes, yes! I mean, No! No!!!

Governor Swann: Um.. Hmm. Well, I have a gift for you!

Elizabeth: Ooo, I love gifts! Red gifts especially.

Governor Swann: It is not red

Elizabeth: It's not red?

Governor Swann: No, I am sorry.

Elizabeth: Is it squishy?

Governor Swann: Um. No, it is not squishy.

Elizabeth: Well just give me the thing already! I'll sell it on e-bay and buy myself a bra so I do not flash the audience when I get out of bed.

Governor Swann: Elizabeth , is that entirely proper for you to...?

Elizabeth: Gift! Now! is handed the box and opens it up And now you will ask me to wear this to see commodore tightwad

Governor Swann: Actually, I, uh...I had hoped you might wear it for the cerem-

Elizabeth: Save your breath maids assist her get changed. Maids pull the parasol out of her dress and hand it to Governor Swann, who looks at it exasperated, They pull of her nightgown and hand the governor a monkey. Followed by a block of cheese

Governor Swann: Elizabeth, I really had hoped we were over all of this.

Servant: My lord, there is a disturbed young boy downstairs. Would you like me to remove him? cracks knuckles

Governor Swann: Ahh, that must be Young Mr. Turner. Poor castrated little mutt.

---Scene switches to downstairs------

Will sits on the floor sampling gum from underneath the Governor's table

Governor Swann: Ah, Mr. Turner. Good to see you again.

Will: crawls from under the table Ah, Found my lucky pebble!

Governor Swann: Uh, yes. And I am happy that you have. Now, do you have something for me?

Will: Yes! opens the sword case The blade is folded steel... ahh forget it. We both know you have no clue what I'm talking about. And before you open your mouth it was I who made it, not the dirty fat man who smells of licorice and bird seed.

Governor Swann: Well, do pass my compliments to your dear candy man.

Will: sighs and snaps the sword in half It's unlucky to give commodore ennui a full sword, as that he could possibly hurt himself when he spins the bloody thing around. You know he doesn't have my talent. He seems to have to much of a social agenda to practice three hours a day sigh

Elizabeth: Will! How nice to see you! I had a dream about a parasol last night!

Will: About me?

Elizabeth: A parasol! And lemon Popsicles! Remember, the day we met, and I had many freckles, which seemed to have vanished along with the gold shiny thing that you were wearing that day.

Will: Miss Swann, you are very odd.

Elizabeth: Will, how many times must I ask you to call me daft?

Will: Once more, as always my curly haired beauty.

Elizabeth: Good day Mr. Turner. And that is not gum you are chewing. Under the table is where we keep Father's nose cheese. walks out stumbling over her well polished but simply hideous shoes

Will: Turns to an umbrella vase and throws up. Bleh. Sees a servant coming and breaks a sconce off the wall to cover up his mess whistle whistle. Dum de dum. Nothing to see here!

Servant: rolls his eyes Do not make me sexually harass you for being so sexy even when you are a moron

Bri and Sals, love you girls J


End file.
